Bit by Bit by Bit, another year comes.

Lil girl is all grown. Bitty lil thing - my Abi-licious:)

Luv having her to myself - that moment when the older ones are in school - and the bitty babes get to stay home with Mama:)

(Knock on wood) If another lil bit doesn't join us in the next year or so - I will get to have her to myself for sometime.

She moved into her tot bed, now that she's 2 -- and has fallen out (we guess) about 3 times, since we have found her sleeping on the floor.

Can't wait to get her into the bottom of the bunk -- and get that room and the "room" it has back!!

So, my lil 2 year old -- loves in order least to fav....

Princess' and calls them "prinsses"

Elmo & Abby - good equal footing, calls them "emo and ABBY" (with excitement!)

Dora & Pooh (and friends) - again a good equal footing, calls them "Ora" and "Poo"

but by far, no matter what in the world that she's upset or crying over

at the moment.....

Mickey Mouse (and friends) Conquer Her Heart - and calls him "MeeMow"

(kay that there right now is my fav thing she says:)

Vertigo, in the distant past...

Over the past 3 months, the vertigo/crazy life we lived - settled and calmed. We now are back in our state of "followers" and not "leaders" - a much better fit for me, I would say.

Less chaos, less stress, less of everything!

Today we leave for our retreat - to learn about the vision that we will now follow - the leader we will now follow - and what direction he is leading us in.

Can't wait:)

....though I still ponder, what lies ahead in our future - we were taken down this path for

a purpose, wondering what He has in store:)

It's a small world after all...

I'm astonished at times, how truly small our world is....I may know someone from my past, who may now be working with a someone else I know, across the country....truly astonishing.

Over the past 6 months, I have come across quite a few people on my facebook, who know other people on my friends list - they are connected, and we are connected...but none of us know, that we are all connected.

It's quite a small world isn't....how do I know you? Are we just a few "degrees" away from eachother?

It's a Big small world, where we are all connected....and yet at times all alone.

Steppin Through Vertigo

The world isn't as spinning as it was...little by little, I am understanding a bit more and more. Just taking tiny steps through the vertigo of my situation.

Seems like I've been in a constant prayer with God, every day, every time I consider the upcoming months...
...
don't let me step unless your footprint is there waiting for me,
don't let me speak unless your heart's cry is already in my mouth, and,
don't let me run with something that was just handed for me to borrow

Garden 2010

Yep, trying it again - what's this year 6?
I'm once again taking it one step farther...more seeds!
N helped make a tray of veggies - everything from beans to melons! T helped make two trays of flowers.

A few things I learned so far in my seed planting experience:
- those bio peet pots are for the birds...nope never mind that birds won't even touch them.
they don't disintegrate like they say they do -- I'm still digging up stuff from last year!
- yogurt containers work wonderfully...thinking it has more to do with the moisture staying in, I personally love using the kids yogurt containers - since we have tons of those!
- seed trays are now my absolute fav!! - the covers make them into mini green houses....how brilliant is that? To think it took nearly 6 years for me to figure this out! lol
- OH but if you don't have the seed trays - just put plastic over the yogurt containers...waalaa.
- Because the seed trays works so wonderfully -- I don't have to plant the seeds so early. (I usually start in mid-march and plant outside mid-may) -- but in April all my seeds - yes ALL - were ready for the outdoors!

Our backyard faces the west - the nice Hot Sun! Half of my garden has always been flowers, the other side was veggies. I loosely call this a garden because it's a two feet wide patch the entire length of the house - something you'd put bushes into.

Speaking of Bushes - those nasty horrible overgrown pieces of...well.
I have hated ours for yes, 6 years. This year, putting my foot down, on a shovel and diggin them UP and OUT.
And making the entire length of the house garden plot - Flowers!

This week I planted the Gladiolas in the far north/west corner - lovely ground, lots of worms! Eight of them, looking forward to see what happens - never planted bulbs before!
I purchased a few perennials to replace those horrible bushes! -- N and I picked out a cute one called Strawberry -- truly thinking the name meant the "color" - because they were sold with flowers....but alas you guessed right - they are strawberries...another new addition.

The goal - and I really say that loosely because goals are never really finished around here - is to plant a 3x8 garden patch in the far north/west corner of the yard. All the veggies will go in there! - I can't wait to actually do this properly -- I'm hoping my laziness doesn't get the best of me, nor the bunnies.

Venture and New Discovery and Vertigo

Just in a few weeks - that's the time frame. A few weeks huh?
Feels like walls are starting to creep in.
Haven't really thought about the long term aspects of this new venture of our lives - the pain, the heartache, just focusing on the "now".

The now is a whirlwind. New discoveries around every bend, it's getting kinda dizzy in here, a Vertigo effect...a twirling effect of the knowledge being thrown at me...but the thankful aspect is there is a road map....only if I could continue to know how to read it!

Even in a road map, one begins to second guess the directions!

Just a few weeks - maybe the world will stop spinning by then.

Anxiety

Had a discussion with my oldest today. It's his week to be line leader...but that also means he has to be the one to take up the offering during Chapel...Today.
So he goes on to tell me that he hates it, and always asks one of his friends to do it. He also goes on to say, he wants to change schools because, other schools don't collect for offering.
Ahhhh, little light bulbs are going off in my head.....

So I ask him a series of questions:
"How come you can go up to the front, and celebrate Baptism time?"
>"Cuz' we only go up the front, not the way back"
"How come you can go up to the front, and sing in front of the entire church?"
>"Mom (whine here) cuz I don't sing up in the back of the stage, only in the front?"
"Well what's in the back of the stage? A boogieman?"
>"No it's just the back"
"Have you ever gone up?"
>"No"
"And everyone else does, including Kindergarteners?"
>"Yeah - but I'm not going to"
"So what if I gave you a candy bar tonight - a big one all to yourself?"
>"No" -- (that surprised me)
"So what if we went to Chucky Cheese, tonight?"
>"No" -- (that REALLY surprised me)
...he has some serious Anxiety Issues!!

We continue in this little banter, back and forth. I guess I'm trying to get him
to give up the "reason" why he has anxiety.
Mine of course is the fact that others will make fun of me - that's why I never went up in the front. I've tried off and on in my life to conquer this fear - but alas the fear is still there.

How do I help him??