I'm astonished at times, how truly small our world is....I may know someone from my past, who may now be working with a someone else I know, across the country....truly astonishing.
Over the past 6 months, I have come across quite a few people on my facebook, who know other people on my friends list - they are connected, and we are connected...but none of us know, that we are all connected.
It's quite a small world isn't....how do I know you? Are we just a few "degrees" away from eachother?
It's a Big small world, where we are all connected....and yet at times all alone.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Steppin Through Vertigo
The world isn't as spinning as it was...little by little, I am understanding a bit more and more. Just taking tiny steps through the vertigo of my situation.
Seems like I've been in a constant prayer with God, every day, every time I consider the upcoming months...
...
don't let me step unless your footprint is there waiting for me,
don't let me speak unless your heart's cry is already in my mouth, and,
don't let me run with something that was just handed for me to borrow
Seems like I've been in a constant prayer with God, every day, every time I consider the upcoming months...
...
don't let me step unless your footprint is there waiting for me,
don't let me speak unless your heart's cry is already in my mouth, and,
don't let me run with something that was just handed for me to borrow
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Garden 2010
Yep, trying it again - what's this year 6?
I'm once again taking it one step farther...more seeds!
N helped make a tray of veggies - everything from beans to melons! T helped make two trays of flowers.
A few things I learned so far in my seed planting experience:
- those bio peet pots are for the birds...nope never mind that birds won't even touch them.
they don't disintegrate like they say they do -- I'm still digging up stuff from last year!
- yogurt containers work wonderfully...thinking it has more to do with the moisture staying in, I personally love using the kids yogurt containers - since we have tons of those!
- seed trays are now my absolute fav!! - the covers make them into mini green houses....how brilliant is that? To think it took nearly 6 years for me to figure this out! lol
- OH but if you don't have the seed trays - just put plastic over the yogurt containers...waalaa.
- Because the seed trays works so wonderfully -- I don't have to plant the seeds so early. (I usually start in mid-march and plant outside mid-may) -- but in April all my seeds - yes ALL - were ready for the outdoors!
Our backyard faces the west - the nice Hot Sun! Half of my garden has always been flowers, the other side was veggies. I loosely call this a garden because it's a two feet wide patch the entire length of the house - something you'd put bushes into.
Speaking of Bushes - those nasty horrible overgrown pieces of...well.
I have hated ours for yes, 6 years. This year, putting my foot down, on a shovel and diggin them UP and OUT.
And making the entire length of the house garden plot - Flowers!
This week I planted the Gladiolas in the far north/west corner - lovely ground, lots of worms! Eight of them, looking forward to see what happens - never planted bulbs before!
I purchased a few perennials to replace those horrible bushes! -- N and I picked out a cute one called Strawberry -- truly thinking the name meant the "color" - because they were sold with flowers....but alas you guessed right - they are strawberries...another new addition.
The goal - and I really say that loosely because goals are never really finished around here - is to plant a 3x8 garden patch in the far north/west corner of the yard. All the veggies will go in there! - I can't wait to actually do this properly -- I'm hoping my laziness doesn't get the best of me, nor the bunnies.
Venture and New Discovery and Vertigo
Just in a few weeks - that's the time frame. A few weeks huh?
Feels like walls are starting to creep in.
Haven't really thought about the long term aspects of this new venture of our lives - the pain, the heartache, just focusing on the "now".
The now is a whirlwind. New discoveries around every bend, it's getting kinda dizzy in here, a Vertigo effect...a twirling effect of the knowledge being thrown at me...but the thankful aspect is there is a road map....only if I could continue to know how to read it!
Even in a road map, one begins to second guess the directions!
Just a few weeks - maybe the world will stop spinning by then.
Feels like walls are starting to creep in.
Haven't really thought about the long term aspects of this new venture of our lives - the pain, the heartache, just focusing on the "now".
The now is a whirlwind. New discoveries around every bend, it's getting kinda dizzy in here, a Vertigo effect...a twirling effect of the knowledge being thrown at me...but the thankful aspect is there is a road map....only if I could continue to know how to read it!
Even in a road map, one begins to second guess the directions!
Just a few weeks - maybe the world will stop spinning by then.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Anxiety
Had a discussion with my oldest today. It's his week to be line leader...but that also means he has to be the one to take up the offering during Chapel...Today.
So he goes on to tell me that he hates it, and always asks one of his friends to do it. He also goes on to say, he wants to change schools because, other schools don't collect for offering.
Ahhhh, little light bulbs are going off in my head.....
So I ask him a series of questions:
"How come you can go up to the front, and celebrate Baptism time?"
>"Cuz' we only go up the front, not the way back"
"How come you can go up to the front, and sing in front of the entire church?"
>"Mom (whine here) cuz I don't sing up in the back of the stage, only in the front?"
"Well what's in the back of the stage? A boogieman?"
>"No it's just the back"
"Have you ever gone up?"
>"No"
"And everyone else does, including Kindergarteners?"
>"Yeah - but I'm not going to"
"So what if I gave you a candy bar tonight - a big one all to yourself?"
>"No" -- (that surprised me)
"So what if we went to Chucky Cheese, tonight?"
>"No" -- (that REALLY surprised me)
...he has some serious Anxiety Issues!!
We continue in this little banter, back and forth. I guess I'm trying to get him
to give up the "reason" why he has anxiety.
Mine of course is the fact that others will make fun of me - that's why I never went up in the front. I've tried off and on in my life to conquer this fear - but alas the fear is still there.
How do I help him??
So he goes on to tell me that he hates it, and always asks one of his friends to do it. He also goes on to say, he wants to change schools because, other schools don't collect for offering.
Ahhhh, little light bulbs are going off in my head.....
So I ask him a series of questions:
"How come you can go up to the front, and celebrate Baptism time?"
>"Cuz' we only go up the front, not the way back"
"How come you can go up to the front, and sing in front of the entire church?"
>"Mom (whine here) cuz I don't sing up in the back of the stage, only in the front?"
"Well what's in the back of the stage? A boogieman?"
>"No it's just the back"
"Have you ever gone up?"
>"No"
"And everyone else does, including Kindergarteners?"
>"Yeah - but I'm not going to"
"So what if I gave you a candy bar tonight - a big one all to yourself?"
>"No" -- (that surprised me)
"So what if we went to Chucky Cheese, tonight?"
>"No" -- (that REALLY surprised me)
...he has some serious Anxiety Issues!!
We continue in this little banter, back and forth. I guess I'm trying to get him
to give up the "reason" why he has anxiety.
Mine of course is the fact that others will make fun of me - that's why I never went up in the front. I've tried off and on in my life to conquer this fear - but alas the fear is still there.
How do I help him??
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Ah, Bangers & Mash
Me: Let's have a real Irish meal. Bangers and Mash! (shows photo)
T: eww that looks gross
Me: It's just like a Hot Dog
T: Without a bun?
Me: Yes
T: That's still gross, I want a bun.
Me: You can't it's not Irish
T: Then it's a good thing I'm not Irish (walks away)
!!!!!!!!!!! this has me laughing sooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
so, was reading....
sometimes I venture into the Internet, like I daydream.
one thought leads to another, leading to another and seconds later you are nowhere where you once were thinking...
..if you have no clue what I"m talking about - stop reading and go to another blog, cuz honey you in the wrong place...
but today i found myself just grazing through different sites, googling this and that and came upon this great blog,
about being a Sugar Junkie and having PCOS....
incase you didn't know - I have been diagnosed with PCOS > and if you don't know what it is.....google it.
....now this gal (back in 09) was a bit scared finding out she has this, scared that she may never get pregnant, and really scared that her life is about to change....exercise, food's to/not to eat, etc.
Now, that wasn't what caught my eye --
-- cuz yeah, I've been there. The scared part that is, the "what do I do now?" feeling, the "how do I fix this?" feeling, the "will I ever get pregnant?" feeling {and by the way yes...I have 3 lil ones - w/o fertility drugs/treatments!!}, but mostly in my head "what will happen to me in the future?" feeling. --
-- What caught my eye was a comment on her first blog, the one announcing to the world she has PCOS and has Insulin issues and has to eat/live like a diabetic. (and incase you are reading this and didn't know - yes Insulin issues is the #1 issue I may have live with besides, Hdisease, Kidney problems, or Stroke....the list goes on)
The comment is inregards to the author having to change her life, food/exercise/etc.....
"It’s a scary path and one that looks like it will be zero fun to walk. That’s when we have to make big grown up decisions. Do we continue to embrace our childlike desire to live carefree lives ignoring what we should and have to do? Or, do we “b**** up Sally” (my boss told me that once) and do what has to be done? I guess it all depends on how badly we want correct our problem."
That last sentence struck a nerve with me...a good one.
How badly do I want to correct my problem.
(I'm not a fan of the very very foul language on her site -- but it was nice to read something from her heart - something that I go through, off and on.)
http://sugarjunkie.gysago.com/
another great blog:
http://soulcysters.blogspot.com/
one thought leads to another, leading to another and seconds later you are nowhere where you once were thinking...
..if you have no clue what I"m talking about - stop reading and go to another blog, cuz honey you in the wrong place...
but today i found myself just grazing through different sites, googling this and that and came upon this great blog,
about being a Sugar Junkie and having PCOS....
incase you didn't know - I have been diagnosed with PCOS > and if you don't know what it is.....google it.
....now this gal (back in 09) was a bit scared finding out she has this, scared that she may never get pregnant, and really scared that her life is about to change....exercise, food's to/not to eat, etc.
Now, that wasn't what caught my eye --
-- cuz yeah, I've been there. The scared part that is, the "what do I do now?" feeling, the "how do I fix this?" feeling, the "will I ever get pregnant?" feeling {and by the way yes...I have 3 lil ones - w/o fertility drugs/treatments!!}, but mostly in my head "what will happen to me in the future?" feeling. --
-- What caught my eye was a comment on her first blog, the one announcing to the world she has PCOS and has Insulin issues and has to eat/live like a diabetic. (and incase you are reading this and didn't know - yes Insulin issues is the #1 issue I may have live with besides, Hdisease, Kidney problems, or Stroke....the list goes on)
The comment is inregards to the author having to change her life, food/exercise/etc.....
"It’s a scary path and one that looks like it will be zero fun to walk. That’s when we have to make big grown up decisions. Do we continue to embrace our childlike desire to live carefree lives ignoring what we should and have to do? Or, do we “b**** up Sally” (my boss told me that once) and do what has to be done? I guess it all depends on how badly we want correct our problem."
That last sentence struck a nerve with me...a good one.
How badly do I want to correct my problem.
(I'm not a fan of the very very foul language on her site -- but it was nice to read something from her heart - something that I go through, off and on.)
http://sugarjunkie.gysago.com/
another great blog:
http://soulcysters.blogspot.com/
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