Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A Challenge - 8

So I'm on my third part of my challenge to write a bit more. A 30 day challenge that I found. Today's challenge is number 8, Fears.
Eight is a lot of fears...this post may take me a few days to write...I don't think I have many, but then again I may.


8 Fears...

1. Dark
I'm a grown adult who is very afraid of the dark. Yep I'm admitting it. Though if you know me, this isn't a secret - lol. I blame my older brothers who while watching me as a child - also watched Freddy & Jason. The lights, or a light, is always on...and yep I run up the stairs when exiting the basement.

2. Security
I. Always. Need. To. Feel. Secure. Toss it up to daddy's lil girl, or dating and marrying a guy twice my size, but that's me.

3. Unknown/What if?
I'm a pessimistic by nature. I hate the unknown. The unknown of the future, weather, money, my kids, my family..even tomorrow i think the worst. I am very much a control freak - completely ok with spontaneity as long as I am the planner lol - but I want to know everything will be ok. What if something bad happens?

4. My kids safety
And with that is the safety of my family. Not just their security, but also long term health and happiness. I have a hard time just trusting that to God. I fear for them and the unknown around them. And if you don't have kids in school...older than 4/5th grade...oh just wait. They go from sharing everything to the worst word in the human language...FINE. Everything is just Fine.

5. Death
Not mine. I'm secure in my faith in God. I'm more concerned with others deaths.
When I hit my 20's, all my "Greats" were dying...Great aunts and uncles, Grandparents, etc.
In your 30's you go through a funeral-less life..for the most part. I dread the 40's and 50's, when the strong ones I have looked up to all my life, grow weak. Like the strong women I call my aunts....they have always been there in my life, like pillars. Full of life and joy and strength, one day they will grow weak. Or my uncles who have been holding the backbone of the family - since my grandparents are dead. There will be a switch over..the young will grow tall, pillars of the family. And then there's my parents...what then? Life is a circle...one in and one out. The most important part is what happens along the way.

6. Goal setting
I rarely set goals. Not cuz of the outcome, I don't think I'm afraid of failure...I'm afraid of not knowing how to get there. Do you have a goal - like something outrageous you know nothing about...
Perhaps it's to climb a mountain? Seriously where do you start!? Yep that's the fear - where the heck do I start? lol

7. Height
I. Hate. Rollercoasters. - they go so HIGH. Stomach drops, eyes close, mouth opens anddddddd fall.
Remember that pessimistic thinking, yeah I'm the percent that will fall.

8. Ear-wigs
They Are Nasty. Give me a spider, a bee, a fly, a worm, even a centipede....but I Hate EAR WIGS.
 EWW this is my space...all others get out...

A Challenge - 9

The 9th Challenge - 9 Loves.

I often think it's easier in life to figure what you hate and dislike..then what you Love.
There are some basics...but how do you only pick 9?

1. God. It always amazes me, that me..in my little ranch, in my lil town, in my lil county, in my state, in my country placed in the western hemisphere..He.Knows.Me. Down to the hair on my head, and the pores on my nose. He cares about me. Would have sent His Son, just for me. That amount of Love for me, and unconditional care & love...I'm not worthy of that, but by His Grace I'm saved.

2. And my God, blessed me with my Best Friend. We couldn't stand each other in the beginning...still can't stand his humor. But I fell for him. My husband by far is my whole love. He doesn't complete me, but I'm easily lost without him. When you are that deeply and honestly apart of someone's life that much - they become a part of you.

3. And then God gave me 4 creatures, who do complete me. My Gift, My Joy, My Miracle, My Blessing. - My children are individually each what I call them, but collectively all the names cover what they are to me. I'm not me, without being their Mom.

4. Family. What a great concept, a group of people who will drop anything to be there when you need them - but also are not necessarily apart of your daily life. They are the people you may see for holidays, weekends, or even some yearly. But their love for you doesn't change, you pick back up exactly where you have left off. I claim these as my #4 - only because I've never known differently. I can't imagine NOT having a family around you. The joy of shared memories, shared jokes, even shared heartaches. Never forget that blessing, while some people don't have large or even small families...I have both.

5. Friends. Now, I list them second after family - only because of formality. I've often thought how odd it is, that at weddings and funerals - families play an important part..because, by nature they are family...but it's your friends you are closer too. Your friends don't have the assigned seats at the wedding...they are in the back tables, hootin and hollerin. Or your funeral...do they get to be in the fancy couches up front...nope. I have been to a few family funerals, and I have sat in the "special" seating for family...I often think about the people behind me. Those people were with my grandparent (or other family member) weekly, working on puzzles, eating meals, traveling, laughing etc. Friends, become much more closer to our hearts - then our extended and even sometimes closer family members. But formality has us keep family titled as more important.
When I die, I want in my front row - after my immediate family - my girlfriends. The ones I have spent countless hours laughing with, the ones I have played sardines with, the ones who I have walked around Target with, the ones who I have cried with. They are the family of my heart. These women know me far more then my extended family.

6. Dance. May seem like an odd thing to add to this list, especially so high on the list. And I have read others list off things they could live without in their lives...take my eyes or my ears..but by golly leave my legs alone. For I can see the stage without being on it, and I can hear the music even tho it's not playing.

7. Music. Up with dance, is my love for a great soundtrack. I keep a running list on my spotify account - the soundtrack of my life. Do you have music that pulls you to a point in your past, kind of like a smell - takes you right there. There are some very distinct songs, that pulls the dancer in my back in time. I love that - I love that I can feel the music, how sad for those you can't.

8. My Hair. Ok I don't say that with complete and udder pride and flaunting'ness...(is that a word? coarse not!) But, I have always loved my hair. Long, short, it doesn't matter - I have the uncanny ability to "clean up well", and my hair helps with that immensely. I can shower and go, yep never add product, or blow dry - dang I barely have to brush it. While I may have friends who go limp, or frizzy -- my perfectly straight dry ends/oil crown hair - fits my style just fine.

9. Well - can't believe I'm saying this - I love the state I live in.
I have endless amounts of snow in the winter, piled high to tunnel through and wet enough to get through every imaginable layer you can put on....and of coarse comes with what feels like endless cold. But the spring brings a smell like no other, new growth, new birth, rain, mud, freshness. And summer has the heat and humidity - but not the crazy heat from down south... And I end finally with the beauty of autumn. Artists and Poets have tried to master the beauty of this time of year. Flocks of people come to see the colors turn. Nothing is quite like it.

There ya go - 9 loves of mine.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

A Challenge - 10

The Ten Day Challenge
Saw this idea for a blog challenge. Something short and simple, easy to achieve...just 10 days right!?!

Yikes tho - the first challenge is 10 secrets.
Hmmm - secrets, things no one or very few people know about me.


1 - I hated my name as a kid. Theresa. Who has that name, it's actually quite rare. When I was a kid...Jennifer, Angie, Jessica, Julie those were big and popular...never, ever, ever...did I have another Theresa in my classes - ever. And the nicknames that come from that name - oh that's worse. Like Terry - man I still hate that. I won't even acknowledge the person that calls me that. As a teen I went through a faze of being called Reese...that was I guess ok. When dating my husband, he started writing my name tsa - only cuz 1. he couldn't spell or 2. was just too lazy to learn it.....lol. But, it's stuck. I now am pretty ok with my name - mostly cuz it is so unique.

2 - I can not parallel park. I think the last time I did it was as a teen in my drivers test. But I would rather drive around the city looking for another place, pay someone money to go in their lot, or just not go to that area of town - then parallel park.

3. When I was kid, I thought Princess Diana was the coolest, neatest, person. I had dolls, paper dolls, and a crown and costume and would pretend to be her. I never got into the Disney princess' at all as a child - didn't pay any attention to Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty till I was much older. My fascination was with the real princess...and when she died, a part of me was crushed, that lil girl's dream.

4. I am a shop-a-holic. Not in the sense of  spending a lot of money, just to blow it - (really people do that!!??) - but in the sense that it makes me happy. It calms me, to walk through racks of jewelry, or leather purses..never buying them, but enjoying the space and beauty of the store. BUT - it is hard for me to NOT buy at least one thing. Like it's my job to keep that store out of the RED...it could be the stupidest lil thing. I really notice this during tourist shopping...cuz I will leave, and I just must have something, anything from where I'm visiting. Tourist shops were made for people like me.

5. Speaking of shopping, I adore...dream of...LOVE grocery shopping. A personal grocery shopper would be the best job for me. I adore the organization, the clean rows, the sales, the different companies all vying for my attention. While some people can't stand shopping for their food and necessities - I'm finding ways to make the time go buy slower.

6. My first love was in 6th grade. I had crushes and boyfriends (if you can even call them that...like where do you date, the lunch table?) before CL, but he was the first guy I really liked. The first guy to give my jewelry and gifts....and the first time I had a date - sadly at the Library and, wait for it...my first kiss! He still holds a soft spot in my heart....wonder where he is now, married? kids?

7. Speaking of Library - leads me to my next secret. I adore books. I love reading, learning, researching just for the joy of learning. I have had a lot of jobs in my life, my favorite was with B&N..thoroughly enjoyed my time there. The endless amounts of books, binding, pages, stories - all waiting for someone to pick it up, open it and be taken away.
I could easily have been one of those students, who never.ever stop going to school..learning different things, different topic, different careers - just for the joy of learning. Yes, that is also why I went to the library often as a tween/teen - I would carry out piles of books - all kinds, just to learn and read and learn more. (also felt like i was pretty smart, carrying all those books)

8. Dance. I wish, if I could go back and tell my younger self one thing...it would be to never stop dancing. I walked away from it in highschool...and only now starting to get back into it. But each of us has that thing, that has been apart of who we are since we were kids...maybe it's a memory, a talent, a habit...mine is dance. Not the being on stage part...I could careless about that - I miss the smells, the way my toes hurt, the wooden bar under my hand, the ability to move across the floor...i miss the music.

9. I grew up a "latch-key kid". Hated it as a child. Carried my house key on a piece of red yarn, hanging from my neck, under my shirt. But before that I was always having to go to a sitter, a girl scout meeting, a girls club activity, a rec dept class, or any other activity I could be placed into. I had to be there just to be "babysat" during those hours I couldn't be alone by myself. I look back at it now, and realize it's made me who I am. Perhaps I'm crafty, becuz of my endless rec craft activities, or the time I learned macrame from the neighbor lady. Perhaps I enjoy camping now, from going to so many girl scout meetings, and camps. I think of all the things I was able to do as a child....swim, ice skating lessons, german classes, french classes, spanish classes, soccer....and my children, because they don't "need" a sitter...can be home to play - - yet are bored. As a child I just wanted to play, so many times.

10. My last secret is about a person. A person I wish was still alive, I wish my children could know her. My Grandmother...she was my world, each summer growing up - being a latch key kid...I needed someone during the summer to care for me. So each June, I headed to the farm - each Labor Day I headed back. But she remained. She was a strong womanly/motherly figure for me growing up. I learned much from her...the basics of home-making,  the blessing of hard work, but also grace. She grew up on the farm, never needing to want, but also never wanting to want. I live in an age, where I'm trying hard to make my home cute, pretty, homey, welcoming...how pinteresty is my kitchen?...my bathroom? What handy techniques can I research for this kind of chore, or this cleaning item. All she had were basics.
She never spent hours complaining of the home, motherhood, chores, decor, hobbies,life...she just did it. I wish I could have her back, for my daughters. So that they learn the grace of a lady - even tho that lady may be standing in the kitchen doing her dishes by hand, wearing her house coat. They could learn the secret to the perfect pie crust (lard), and the wonderful taste of watermelon pickles, and they could see a woman who is sun beaten, tanned face, wrinkled with crows feet and laugh lines...but yet she is beautiful. Today's grandmother, tho may try to be "grandmotherly" - can't be like those from days past. They had a different style of life, a harder life. Our parents, are a different generation...it's amazing what you can learn from the "Greatest Generation" if you just stopped to learn. I once had a conversation with her, one of the last summers I spent with her, about what she had always wanted to do in her life but couldn't. Like going to another country, flying in an airplane to Hawaii for instance, or Africa to see the wild animals...like what was on her Bucket list? Her reply, to drive to the grocery store. She never learned to drive.



Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Write It Down


They say to write it down, that it can become possible..achievable..doable.
But really it's none of those, if you never "read" what you wrote down...if it's off on some pile, among-st everything else, taking up your life.

Well, I'm going to set a goal - small goal, simple..step by step. Writing it down, making myself walk past, read it and check it off..maybe just maybe I can accomplish that lil itty bitty step.

So when making a goal - why do some achieve it, and others don't? Priority.
And if the goal is to have better priorities...man you're in trouble.

 When you wake up in the morning, what's your first move..what's your priority..what's your goal?
Don't like what you are doing - change that one lil step, your #1...then possibly you can take out what bite out of the entire goal.


May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Monday, October 13, 2014

A Night Out



Have you seen this movie? It might just be the best movie -in a long time- that I have seen. Not only is it clean, and I mean clean in the language and sex dept...not in the "kitchen is clean" sense, but it is such a joy to watch. 
With your living room being filled with laughter, screeching, hollering, and yes even that silent laughter, where you're laughing so hard your crying laughing.

Moms, get your butt out there and rent, nah just buy this movie!!
Can't "escape" your house for a "night out" then call all the moms together like I did - and have a Mom's Night In.

You'll thank yourself, your friends will thank you...yes even your husband will, because for one night you will have so much joy and laughter in your soul....no amount of mess could make ya mad!!



Friday, June 28, 2013

Sounds

Noise. Sound. Bass. Tremble. Music is such apart of our lives. The rhythm. The sway of our bodies. The tap of a foot. The laughter and screams of excitement. The tears and calm of a simple melody.


What melodies shape our lives? What rhythms run through our minds? What bands represent me?
I really don't have favorites. Mostly just a top 40 kinda girl. But in their particular genres, I do have favorites.

80's:
Journey, Bon Novi, Madonna, MJ, Debbie Gibson, NKOTB
90's:
Hoodie, Boys to Men, Backstreet Boys, CĂ©line Dion
Today:
Pink, Fun, Pit Bull

And so much more!

Country: Garth Brooks
New Age: Enya
Soundtrack: First Knight, Last of the Mohicans
Polish (yep!): Eddie B
Broadway: Phantom
Christian: DCTALK, TobyMac, Newboys, LaRue, Matthew West..and so much more!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Split/Personalities - Spaces

I admit it, there are two people in me. They fight now and then...but for the most part the same one always wins.
I like pretty, cutesy things: flowers, lace, fabrics, cores, vintage, girly, floral, feminine, etc.
I love, casual, lived in things: neutrals, blues, basic shapes, no patterns.
Guess which side wins? Not the pretty spaces, like this...


 
 
 


I wonder tho, if everyone is like this, having multiple likes vs loves in their surroundings. We have multiple rooms in our home, giving us multiple ways to play with what we like...does your home have a running theme, concept idea? All mine says is I have kids! No, really my home has different personalities, each room has a different style and look....I bet some designer could help me with that!!

Maybe it means I love alot of things. My neutral calm living room, my (future) primitive antique kitchen, my fall bathroom, my (future) royal bedroom. Each room has it's accessory...my living room has it's nautical & lighthouses. My kitchen has a beautiful deep red and sage color accented with a few apples. My bath, I add leaves and grasses from time to time, and well, my bedroom, let's just say the accent is everyone else's stuff and chaos. But it's home, and one day I hope the other personality in me is content with it.