3 lil words

there are 3 lil words driving me nuts lately -- i know it's not all her fault, i'm letting it happen....
i'm just not caring half the time.

N wants to do something
Mom says no
N says
"I'm just gonna"

now, to everyone else this is a control issue.......
N looking for her boots
Mom says what are you doing?
N says I'm going outside
Mom says, um, no your not
N says... "I'm just gonna"
> and you know what? She proceeded to just go outside.

yeah that happend when I just didn't care....I questioned myself....
is this a fight i want to have? do I really truely care if she goes outside?
no not really -- i gave her, her boundries and she went. When she came
back in she wanted Cocoa (now me as her mom, knows perfectly well that having cocoa is really
her true reason to go outside) I said no to the cocoa -- and said, 'girls who don't listen don't get to have cocoa.'
- yeah I was proud of myself - lol
to all the parents out there -- yes it was discussed that we need to learn to
ASK - and not just DO.

this happens a lot this past two weeks - with me sick...just not caring about all the lil arguements
we have.
I got to bite it in the butt soon -- or this could get out of a hand.....

~~~~yrs from now~~~~
Mom sees something in N's hand - long and white.
Mom says N what do you have there?
N says a cigerette
Mom says what are you doing with that?
N says smoking
Mom says Oh no your not
N says
"i'm just gonna"

Remember Me....

I'm amazed how one lil song, so simple in words and melody - can instantly bring me to tears.
Every Time I Here It -- almost frustrating really...and it's not even a sad song!!!

But the imagery of the words are truly magical - i have images in my head, for each line
to the song - the beauty of the poetry that Mark writes in the song...yeah just amazing to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember me In a Bible cracked and faded by the years

Remember me In a sanctuary filled with silent prayers

Remember me When the color of the sunset fills the sky

Remember me When you pray and the tears of joy fall from your eyes

Remember me When the children leave their Sunday school with smiles

Remember me When they're old enough to teach Old enough to preach Old enough to leave

Age to age and heart to heart

Child of wonder child of God
Remember me

(Mark Schultz)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each verse - I can see the beauty of God in it....but the 3rd verse, well yeah...

there's nothing like seeing a child, in their simple and unadulterated innocence,

understand, believe, and live the Beauty of God

the purpose of the song has been met - it continues to help me, Remember Him.

suddenly

been sitting here, in this spot off and on all morning since i've been up

facing the window right across from me i look up

and suddenly

there's a down pour of white,

soft pretty slurring all about to a silent song

a minute or so later i glance somewhere else

take my mind into a different direction

moments slip by, but then i look out

and suddenly

there's nothing, only a layer of white as an evidence something once fell

but there's no movement, no graceful fall

i think nothing of it and continue my mind somewhere else

pulling me from the opening view to the outside

time ticks by, and my eye catches something

a movement - look up

and suddenly

the dance begins again, white slurring about

turning from side to side in a dance - yet unaware

of eachother - some are fast needing to feel the ground beneath them

some slow down, it's an adagio - no need to race to the end of the song

some hear the crescendo

the dance leaps about, twirling to and fro yet will often

pause for a curtsy- a slowing down - the music comes and

goes during this moment of my day...during a pause in the music

i'm reminded i don't have tickets to sit

and watch the entire performance...but

after this calm silence...the dance twirls

once again...suddenly

Who's The Best?

T: "Mom, can anyone be in the olympics?"

yep anyone who is the best at their sport.

"What sports are in the olympics?"

Lots of them - name a sport.

"Soccer"

Yep, their in the olympics...but to be the best you have to play on a team,

then maybe be one of the best in the World Cup, then get to be on the Olympic Team.

"You mean they are the best in all of those sports?"

No Tim - no ones the best at everything -- you pick one sport and work your hardest and train to be the best.

"That would be fun, to be the best"

Full Circle

I think life is finally coming full circle.

Don't know if she will ever have the desire to dance, the need to move to music,

to feel the music, to love the smell of a dance floor - or if it will only remain

an activity that let's her be a princess -

either way, this dancer now has a dancer.

True Friendship

So, instead of bothering to babble about what I've been doing for the past 6 odd months - let's just focus on today.

Today - day 5 of this crazy, flatten me flat on my back, achy body, swelling throat - nasty wicked cold...yep just a cold. Which for those who don't have a medical degree means - you don't get to take squat from a dr. - cuz you don't have a temp!

So, 4 days ago I became best friends with my friends.

Friend> Dictionary defines this as:

1.

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2.
a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter

-now mind you they are in now way person(s) - but these guys truely got my back...not individually but all together, they hold hands, and carry me - ahhh.